The Fifth Sense
by Shadowfax
Summary: In a series of five chapters, five XMen reflect over how they experience the world in a different way than most.
1. Scott

In a series of five chapters, five X-Men reflect over how they experience   
the world in a different way than most. Starting with Scott... 

Everything belongs to Marvel and Chris DeBurg and Amy Grant and Clay   
Walker and whoever else but NOT ME.   
  


THE FIFTH SENSE   


Chapter 1 - "I've Never Seen You Shine So Bright" 

_ I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight_   
_ I've never seen you shine so bright_   
_ Mmm mmm_   
_ I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance_   
_ Looking for a little romance_   
_ given half a chance_   
_ I have never seen that dress you're wearing_   
_ Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes_   
_ I have been blind_

Sometimes, I can remember what green looks like. The deep vibrant color of the grass, the way the leaves of each tree are a different shade. The way the sky could be so blue at times... 

Sometimes, I just lie in the grass rubbing my hands in it, thinking somehow I can absorb the color through feeling it. 

Her hair is like that. Like individual strands of life, each uniquely wild and beautiful. I let it fall through my fingers and soft light runs along it like the pulse of blood flowing through her veins that keeps her alive. 

I've never seen the color of her eyes. I've been assured repeatedly that they're green, but that's just one of those things you want to make sure of yourself. How does the song go? "You don't know what you've got till it's gone." I can't count the number of eyes I've looked into, how many were blue and green and hazel, but I would give every last one of them just to   
see hers once. 

It's not as if her eyes aren't beautiful just the way I see them. They are. I think that, in this monotonous landscape, there is a special shade reserved just for them. She looks at me and the world just sort of fades away as if it never really existed anyway. If it did, it couldn't have been that important. Not as meaningful as her lips; never as real as her... I never could forget those nights. 

She is always beautiful, but when she gets all dressed up and we go out she just blows me away. We go to dinner and I can feel eyes watching us, watching her. That jealous fire builds, but her eyes smile only for me and with a flicker it dies. And we dance. I never knew she could be such a good dancer until the first time we went out. She wore that red dress that she could make look so good, and they played "Lady in Red." She just laughed, and she shined like a ruby- like a diamond on fire. How does the song go? "She could charm the stars, hypnotize the moon." I've been hypnotized; who would want to look away? You'd think red would be the one color that I couldn't tell the difference, but I can tell- there's just something brighter about it. Something... more. As if it can't be contained in words; can't be content just in existing. Or maybe that's her. She has that effect on the world. 

Now, sometimes, I play it for her and I sing softly in her ear as we dance, the lady in red, oh my lady in red... 

"I have been blind"... I was once. In more ways than one. Funny how things like that can have so many deeper meanings. But, like the other song goes, "now I see." See so much more in so many different ways. People think I see in red. Ha! I think Logan sees red sometimes. But not me. All I see- all I'll ever see- are shades of grey. 

_ I never will forget_   
_ the way you look tonight_   
_ The lady in red_   
_ My lady in red_   
_ (I love you)_   
__   
__


	2. Jean

Yeah, I know this one is more about speaking than hearing but   
bear with me. I don't know any deaf mutants, and I can only   
work with what they give me. =]   
"When You Say Nothing At All" was originally written by Paul   
Overstreet and Don Schiltz. It has been recorded by several   
artists, but the one I had in mind here is the one by Alison Krauss.   
By the way, you do know that I don't own it right? Good. I   
thought you were intelligent people.   
  


THE FIFTH SENSE   


Chapter 2 - "When You Say Nothing At All"   


The hardest thing I think I've ever had to do is try to explain my powers to someone who has never experienced them. The realm of the mind is so unlike the physical world. It's... boundless. Even I have to impose a sort of physical order upon it in order to access it in a way that I can understand. 

It's like being in outer space, drowning, flying. 

It's like betrayal and friendship, hope and despair, pride and love. 

It's...... 

Damn. No, scratch all that, never mind. It's... indefinable. 

Well, as indefinable as a giraffe. You can tell someone what a giraffe is, what it looks like, what it does, but they can never truly understand the concept of a giraffe until they see one for themselves. That's it. No words can trap the essence that makes something what it is. 

And yet... isn't that the purpose of words? 

I think about that a lot. Especially when someone asks me to explain my relationship with Scott. He's more than a "boyfriend," more than a "fiancé." I think "husband" is more like it, but that's not it either. The closeness the last word implies combined with the patience of the second one and the sort of wonder of the first. And yet, still... not enough. "Soul mate" perhaps? That's closer. It's like he knows me better than I know myself. I can hear him talking to me without ever hearing his voice, and it sounds more richly in my ear than anything else. 

It must be part of being a teacher, that it bugs me so much when I can't explain something. I was thinking about it the other day when I ran into a wall. Yeah, talk about savior faire. Anyway, then I heard the most amazing thing that I wouldn't have stopped to listen to if I hadn't been rubbing my aching forehead. It drifted down in through a window near me like music straight from heaven. Well, Kitty's room anyway. And when I heard it I just had to smile. Because I'd finally found someone who seemed to understand what I was trying so hard to say.__

_ It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart_   
_ Without saying a word you can light up the dark_   
_ Try as I might I could never explain_   
_ What I hear when you don't say a thing___

_ The smile on your face lets me know that you need me_   
_ There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_   
_ The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall_   
_ You say it best when you say nothing at all___

_ All day long I can hear people talking out loud_   
_ But when you hold me near you drown out the crowd_   
_ Old Mr. Webster could never define_   
_ What's being said between your heart and mine___

_ The smile on your face lets me know that you need me_   
_ There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me_   
_ The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall_   
_ You say it best when you say nothing at all_

How about that? Whoever wrote that must have read my mind. Scott just smiled when I played it for him. We've never needed words to know what the other one is thinking. Words are for the other people, the ones who don't understand, and now I suppose we have something to give them that might help them see.   
  



	3. Marie

Everything belongs to Marvel and Three Doors Down and other people. Sorry it took forever for me to post, I've been working hard on my Lord of the Rings story and trying to finish it. And then I couldn't sign in for a week... Ahhh, the trials of a struggling author... =]   
  


THE FIFTH SENSE   


Chapter 3 - "That Something To Hold On To" 

_ all she wants in a little piece of this dream_   
_ is that too much to ask?_   
_ with a safe home and a warm bed_   
_ on a quiet little street_   
_ all she wants is just that something to hold on to_   
_ that's all she needs_

They say that touch is the most important of all the human senses. Babies who aren't held enough grow up to be emotionally stunted rapists or killers. The mere act of stroking a dog or cat brings smiles to the faces of the lonely, think what human arms around them would do. 

There's something in that, I think. Something in feeling the warmth of the skin, the way it moves and covers the fragile life within. Lying still, hearing someone's breath with your ear to their chest; hearing their laughter sound before it even finds air to carry it. The steady rhythm of the heart that echoes throughout the body in the veins; down through the legs, at the wrists, in the hollow of the neck. Life. Life is touch. The most extreme isolation is being surrounded by people but being unable to feel them. 

I see the looks the others give me sometimes. Poor little Rogue, can't touch anybody. 

If only they knew. 

I have discovered something. I wonder if I'm the first, or if- because of my power- I'm just more acutely aware of it than most people. Touch doesn't require touch. There it is, the ultimate truth of the universe, and I'd like to see somebody add it up to 42. Anybody could dispute me I suppose, but I guess they've never had Bobby nudge them with his eyes from across the room telling them to get ready for whatever mayhem he's cooked up for today. They've never walked into a classroom with Ms. Munroe and had her hug them with her smile. They've never had Logan stand right next to them in that way that seems to say there's nothing more important in the world than him being right there, right then, right with you. 

Some people hate their powers, hate being a mutant. I suppose I did, still do sometimes. But you know what I hate more? Being abducted by a psychopath. Seeing my friends get hurt. Having to live on guard because it might happen again. Yeah, I guess that happens because I'm a mutant, but not really. Perfectly normal people get abducted and killed. Raped, which I guess can't happen to me- one plus side to the way things are. 

On one hand we all dream of that perfect world where everything is exactly the way it should be. On the other hand we all have to live in this world. I try not to let the one interfere with the other too often. But we all needs our dreams, right? 

_ yeah, oh, yeah_   
_ falling into this_   
_ in dreams we run away..._

_ yeah, falling in_   
_ I feel I'm falling in_   
_ to this again_   
  
  



	4. Ororo

I'm back... finally! Almost done... =] "Real World" belongs to Matchbox 20, Storm to Marvel & Fox & whoever. Oh, and in a related note- Hooray for Halle Berry!   
  


THE FIFTH SENSE 

Chapter 4 - "Smell As Sweet"   


_well I wonder what it's like to be a rainmaker_   
_I wonder what it's like to know that I made the rain___

_well I wonder what it's like to be a superhero_   
_I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown, yeah_   
_boy I bet my friends would all be stunned_   
_they're stunned___

_freedom what did you hope to learn about here_   
_if I was someone else would this all fall apart_   
_strange where were you when we started this gig_   
_I wish the real world would just stop hassling me_   
_yeah me_   
__

There's a smell that only comes just after the rain. I remember how when I was a child I would wait for that smell, and when I had smelled it then all was right with the world. 

There are things I regret about my life, but as I look back over it I wonder if- given the chance- I would change them. All things work together, if not for good, then in spite of evil. I miss Africa- oh Goddess I miss it! But the things I have learned here, have done here, have made me a stronger person. Have made others stronger, if I can believe that I could have such an effect on other people. And yet... how can I not believe it? I see the shining faces turned toward me in my classroom, eager to find out about the world and to learn everything about why they are the way they are. Why... Isn't that the question? Always the question... 

I think Logan understands me better than most. It's there in him, too- that longing to be somewhere else. Somewhere... less contained. More... raw. When I look in his eyes I see the desert in my own reflected in the taiga- the untamed trees and the darkness that haunts them. It must be harder for him, being so close, yet so far away. But a stronger feeling exists, the one that keeps us here. A need to be a part of something bigger and to be able to look others in the eye and know that they understand. 

Why? Always the question... But the answer is not as out of reach as it may seem at times. Even without my powers, if I had been born a "normal" child, I would have a great sense of responsibility toward my fellow people. And with this responsibility comes a certain amount of self sacrifice. It's not the powers that make the hero, but rather the reverse. A hero takes whatever power they are given and uses it to make someone else's life better. My heart may yearn for Africa but I know my place is here, fighting to make the world a better place for the people of the future. There is a freedom that comes from such sacrifice, and a gain that cannot be expressed. I have learned to control my powers for the good of all, and I have met friends that I cannot imagine having lived my life without. 

Rain in my village was always a welcome event- a signal for joy and of the continuation of life. I have become a rainmaker myself in more than one way- I bring water to the earth and happiness to young faces. 

So now whenever I wake in the morning the air has the scent of the earth after the rain, and all I can do is smile.   


_please don't change_   
_please don't break_   
_Oh the only thing_   
_seems to work at all is you_   
_please don't change_   
_at all from me to you_   
_and you to me_   
_yeah_   
  
  



	5. Logan

"Iris" belongs to the GooGoo Dolls, Wolverine to Marvel.   
Well, like the Prof says, "If you want to read minds there are easier places to start than Logan's." So, I decided to end with him. I tried to show the more chaotic side of Logan's mind- how it must be like after having people screw around with your head. This was definitely the hardest one for me to write, tell me if you think it turned out okay. And thanks to everybody who reviewed and stuck with me through it all. Enjoy. =]   
  


THE FIFTH SENSE   


Chapter 5 - "All I Can Taste Is This Moment"   


_And all I can taste is this moment_   
_And all I can breathe is your life_   
_And sooner or later it's over_   
_I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

Connected. Here all life is connected. Like scent and taste; inhale and feel the tang of sweat and steel and fear on the back of the tongue. The snow is outside tonight, inside is the heat- the cage where life is only a hole in the wire mesh through which the curious peer. In the background, a roar, growing and fading with its own life. Eyes open, darkness is around; one bright spot, a focus. The slipstream of time, a flash then gone- life, so fragile, broken in your hands and reshaped. 

_And I don't want the world to see me_   
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_   
_When everything's made to be broken_   
_I just want you to know who I am_

Something is... different. Separate? The mind is its own minefield. A place you yourself cannot even travel safely. To let others risk... unthinkable. Must protect. Keep away, dance away; life is a dance over hungry blades. A glass case that shatters, making millions of tiny mirrors. Each one reflects its own story, an epic remembered only in the fragmented half-rhymes of a blind poet. Nonsense, unless you have the key. 

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_   
_Or the moment of truth in your lies_   
_When everything feels like the movies_   
_Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

And the walls go up all around, to protect and seal away. And the wall speaks for you, saying you don't care, and inside you drown reaching out trying to pull it down. But the wall lies. It couldn't speak, even if it knew truth... What is this thing truth? Truth is beauty, that is all ye know on earth... but there is much more to know. What do I know, how do I know, why do I know... Cut yourself on the mirrors so the blood clouds your view, and the taste of it is copper in the air. What matters- this moment. This is true. This is real.   



End file.
